1. |
intro. / mothering
04:49
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mothering:
mother the pain, mother these words, mother the loss, mother the storm
mother the pain, mother the storm
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2. |
not a time for distance
04:14
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the clouds are collapsing, its three this morning, leave your books behind you, cry all the way home
quiet this room, you're beyond this now
tonight I can't be very far from you / it's here, it's real, there's no fucking way
the thieving of time, give in to the process, makes this precious, hold hands then let go
quiet this room, you're beyond this now
tonight I can't be very far from you / it's here, it's real, there's no fucking way
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3. |
eras
02:12
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eras have begun, some have ended, the evenings aged
see us through, body says no, see us through this now
see us through this, see us through this now
eras will begin today
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4. |
on a sunday
03:21
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maybe she thinks / let her live / her life / just let her go
stop reminding her / of all that time / let her go
maybe she thinks let her live her life, stop reminding her of the time she wasted
its a risky road and the letters will travel just write home to the body tonight
in on sunday / retrograde blood flow / crying on a sunday / clocks are frozen
fought so hard and I'll just fight on, then that history will be hushed
in on a sunday / storms and the downpours / crying on a sunday / worried women fight on
so we kissed / underneath that bridge / held me there / the heart on
the wall / valves and open hands / embrace this bond / the wait is over
the heart on that wall the chambers and the open hands, we did what we could and now the wait is over
its a risky road and the letters will travel just write home to the body tonight
in on a sunday / language of that day / crying on a sunday / body as a battleground
fought so hard and I'll just fight on, then that history will be hushed
in on a sunday / storms and the downpours / crying on a sunday / worried women fight on
tears fall /// clouds break /// at the hospital /// here we go
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5. |
anesthesia nightmares
06:06
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you hold on, here goes nothing
lie back
no, there's no other way
no, the fear and the pain
no, there's no other way
no, the fear and the pain
/// waiting my whole life, such a long, long night ///
lie back
no, there's no other way
no, the fear and the pain
no, there's no other way
no, the fear and the pain
eyes open, pulling on me / wounded and withdrawn
so sick and miserable / wounded and shaken
ribs are poking through my skin / pick up this body
stumbling now, weight is lost / pick up this body
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6. |
almost
05:54
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lying alone and naked / head on for head on / for a break in the barrier
now you're alone, because someone left, you lost the night, say goodnight or don't
everyone said / his heart exploded / sat at his piano / matters of closeness and care
look away, the time is almost gone, you dropped right there, you were a warrior
you almost made it
almost
you almost made it
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7. |
real life test
03:40
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see her through the windows / shadows against the wall / no one is here / the pleas of mothers unseen
candlelight climbs the walls / cut the thighs and forget / that no one
is near / fall away from here
/// have the heart to see this through, in silent rooms, sat so (still) ///
never needed to be about how you look or pass as what for who? always about everything it took to get here, to just be here now, what it took and how you try to continue to survive. there was no efficacy, no validation in failed language, false modalities, they try to keep the language alive, just focus on what happens to our bodies, help us survive, open the gates, the language still thrives in concepts renamed, open the gates, give us more answers, more pathways, open the gates, stop the gate-keeping, just stop the gate-keeping
(its) enough just to let go, held close so we don't go - where no one knows if what's safe is near
enough just to let go, stay close so I don't go - where no one knows the hurt I felt
enough just to let go, so still and they won't know -
(because) when there are no words
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8. |
the cost and the loss
05:14
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there are victims everywhere
reaching out for someone in this mess
your daughter is lost this morning
turned blue on that bench
people just walked by
the wars the sick fight every day
the wars against the poor
addiction the disease and its killing fields
lost limbs and lost lives
the cost and the loss
/// it's not her fault / this is crisis / do no harm and so on / look her in the eyes / that was your cousin / why are you laughing? / just say hello / say you care / to help not hinder / wayward compassion fatigue / the burnout of the sick and the ailing ///
laid out, left behind
laid out, gone too soon
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9. |
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10. |
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